Tuesday, December 8, 2015


Something between yesterday and today click with me.
Why hold myself back from what I want to do because of fears I have that are pretty irrational and are most likely worst case scenarios..... life is to short

I think I am going to start a youtube channel.

The idea has always been interesting to me
I love photography and film way before youtube and instagram became a thing
Back in 2008 when i first started watching youtube I wanted to make a channel but held back because all the videos I would watch. The comment sections would be a battlefield quite literally of mean comments people left, then people commenting back on behalf of the youtuber and random people butting in.  It was chaos! Someone must be crazy to subject themselves to the hate that is spread online.
Today in 2015 youtube has made a lot of changes to the comment section, banning spam and trying to ban hate.
Maybe now I will feel comfortable enough to embark into the wonderful world of youtube....

Monday, December 7, 2015


I recently quit my job and have been struggling with where to go next.  I have a degree in fashion with a minor in marketing but the more I see of the fashion world the less i want to be involved in it.  Don't get me wrong I love cool looks and innovative products.... but I think there is more to life than just what and how people look.....

Fall 2014.... I graduated in May and moved back home because the job prospects were not too strong.... I ended up getting a job at a store aimed towards making moms happy. Specifically moms who had just given birth who were experiencing low self esteem and had troubles dressing themselves. ( this job was found  by my mom and with no other prospects and a good wage I took it) This job was fun, it was great to make moms feel and look good about themselves but the longer I was working there the more this question arose within me  - wait clothes don't make a mom feel good having a healthy happy working body does.  That was the first time I had the thought that fashion is on the outside... sure an outfit can make you feel good but not forever.... maybe I was putting my energy towards the wrong thing instead of making these moms buy these expensive nice clothes maybe I should put it towards showing these moms that they don't need clothes to feel beautiful or great that they should wake up feeling that way everyday no matter what clothes or brands they wear no matter if it was from a high end boutique or the thrift store.....

Flash forward to another job in fashion and still no fulfillment in life and no desired career path in retail and no prospects in any type of job with a fashion company. Not sure were to go or what to do but determined to be happy... leads us here.
Its not necessarily nowhere... I like to think of it as no mans land.
Me with my ideas but not sure where and what to do with them...
Finally taking the time to find out who I am what I believe in and what in the hell I want to do with my life.
Pleasing no one, no expectations and no regrets.
Just being Lauren

Thursday, December 3, 2015


hello internet
hello blog
it has been a while
updates to come.